DeMore's Fish Den

(Ohio's Seafood)
1400 E Perry St (HWY 163)
Port Clinton, OH 43452

I was heading towards Cleveland along Highway 163, the coast of Lake Erie to my left, when my traveling partner decides he needs food ASAP in Port Clinton. We pass a Wendy's and a Burger King, and I refuse to stop determined to find some sort of home grown Ohio Cuisine. We spot a sign with a blue fish, letters below spelling out "1 POUND PERCH DINNER...$8.99". Perch! Fried Perch. I hadn't had perch in years. I convinced my partner (someone who'd grown up in San Fransisco, never hearing of "a perch" before) that perch is basically the lobster of the Great Lakes, he must not miss the opportunity to try it. We pull in.

The parking lot was empty, so was the restaurant. At the register two Indian women, a mother and daughter greeted us by explaining the lunch special was over, but we could still have it because they had forgotten to wipe it off the chalk board. We explained we didn't want a whole pound, or a half a pound of perch, but maybe just like a fourth a pound. They suggested we order a perch sandwich meal $4.99, and they would take off the bun. Agreed.

This is the type of restaurant that would close it's doors immediately if the world took away freezers and plastic. Absolutely nothing was fresh, even the lemon was in plastic packages. The fish was terrible. Frozen, not fresh, tough, and the "breading" was a soggy case the fish had been stuck into. This was not the perch I remembered from my childhood. Perhaps DeMore had collected the dead perch washed up on shore of Lake Erie across the street from the Restaurant?

While dousing the fish with tarter sauce, preserved lemon juice, and malt vinegar to kill the taste, I told tales of my dad fishing in the lakes of northern Wisconsin, catching fresh perch, gutting it, and then pan frying it with his secret spices(salt and black pepper), flour, and milk. The breading would stick to the fish. The fish itself would be light and flaky, falling off the bone.

We threw half the meal away and walked over to the shore. The smell of goose poop had us running to the car before the perch came back up. We took off back down 163 and about 2 minutes down the road were a cluster of perch restaurants, each with packed parking lots.

Road Rule #1 Don't stop at a restaurant in an unknown area unless there are at least three vehicles or bikes in the parking lot.